What saddens me about this, aside from you having to endure such things yet again, is what it says about fandom. Decades ago, Harlan Ellison wrote a scathing essay titled You Don’t Know Me, I Don’t Want to Know You. It documented similar patterns of behavior among SF fans.
What is it about the things they love that makes some fans behave abominably towards creators of those things?
I’m always eager to meet creators whose work moves me. But some years ago I realized what a short conversation that can be.
“I love your work!”
“Thank you.”
After that realization, I thought about what, if anything, I really had to say to that creator as a person. When there was something to say beyond admiration, I was privileged to be part of some wonderful conversations, and in a couple very special instances, I made a good friend.
If someone really loves your work, they owe you respect as a person.
Actually, everyone owes everyone else respect as a starting point. That’s a myopic ideal, but I try to live by it.
There are some people on the periphery of the business who make claims about being insiders. They may actually have known people I worked with or am tangentially related to professionally, but that relationship is not transitive. Online acquaintance is not friendship. And what that woman sent me in a PM is not what she's claiming now. And what she claims I did to get this job is a flat out lie. Especially since what she claims I did to get it was a year after the date on the contract. Full stop.
Someone you tweet with on the internet is not a friend, and it's the height of poor boundaries behavior to assert otherwise. But it's flat out lying to misrepresent a twitter exchange.
It is a sad commentary on our society in general that such things take place. I personally find that behavior abhorrent and am very sorry that you were targeted in that underhanded and disgraceful manner.
I am always appaled by that quirk of human nature that manifests when someone is brought low (legimately or not). The need to target anyone that has ever been associated with that person, whether it be working with them, socialising with them (and everything in between) and tar them with the same brush. Humans?!? Can't live with them, get sued if you try to argue with them.
What she claims now and what she said and framed then are two different things, and I'm disgusted she's capitalized this for social cred. She was never a friend of mine, I never met her, and beyond this short twitter message exchange, I think the last brief twitter message exchange (about three sentences,) was a full THREE YEARS PRIOR to this. That's a "friendship"? That's KNOWING SOMEONE? Utter bullshit.
What saddens me about this, aside from you having to endure such things yet again, is what it says about fandom. Decades ago, Harlan Ellison wrote a scathing essay titled You Don’t Know Me, I Don’t Want to Know You. It documented similar patterns of behavior among SF fans.
What is it about the things they love that makes some fans behave abominably towards creators of those things?
I’m always eager to meet creators whose work moves me. But some years ago I realized what a short conversation that can be.
“I love your work!”
“Thank you.”
After that realization, I thought about what, if anything, I really had to say to that creator as a person. When there was something to say beyond admiration, I was privileged to be part of some wonderful conversations, and in a couple very special instances, I made a good friend.
If someone really loves your work, they owe you respect as a person.
Actually, everyone owes everyone else respect as a starting point. That’s a myopic ideal, but I try to live by it.
There are some people on the periphery of the business who make claims about being insiders. They may actually have known people I worked with or am tangentially related to professionally, but that relationship is not transitive. Online acquaintance is not friendship. And what that woman sent me in a PM is not what she's claiming now. And what she claims I did to get this job is a flat out lie. Especially since what she claims I did to get it was a year after the date on the contract. Full stop.
BTW, I've had more communication online over a longer period with you than with her, and I could not say I know you at all.
That sounds grim, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this nonsense.
These people seriously need to learn boundaries. 🙄
Someone you tweet with on the internet is not a friend, and it's the height of poor boundaries behavior to assert otherwise. But it's flat out lying to misrepresent a twitter exchange.
It is a sad commentary on our society in general that such things take place. I personally find that behavior abhorrent and am very sorry that you were targeted in that underhanded and disgraceful manner.
Sorry you’re dealing with that!
Thanks.
Man, it must be difficult emotionally to have to deal with those situations. I can’t imagine!
I am always appaled by that quirk of human nature that manifests when someone is brought low (legimately or not). The need to target anyone that has ever been associated with that person, whether it be working with them, socialising with them (and everything in between) and tar them with the same brush. Humans?!? Can't live with them, get sued if you try to argue with them.
What she claims now and what she said and framed then are two different things, and I'm disgusted she's capitalized this for social cred. She was never a friend of mine, I never met her, and beyond this short twitter message exchange, I think the last brief twitter message exchange (about three sentences,) was a full THREE YEARS PRIOR to this. That's a "friendship"? That's KNOWING SOMEONE? Utter bullshit.
EDIT on this comment, on the original I posted the "three sentences" line at the wrong point. It's corrected now.