Human Atom Bomb

The Kind That Blows Up in Your Face

Frank Miller, me, George Perez and Malcolm Bourne.

So, a long time ago, when a friend in the industry would tell me someone was a Human Atom Bomb and that I should never have anything to do with that person, I would straight up shun whoever I was being told to shun because I wanted to be a good person and not enable. 

Eventually there was almost no one left I could talk to (or work with) because everybody had a grudge against somebody. Some legit, some petty. But everybody had one.

Add to that almost every single time I was told to avoid the Human Atom Bomb, at some point the person who told me to run for my life turned around and cozied up to the Human Atom Bomb long after I'd shunned this person on their say-so.

The absolute worst mistake I ever made in my whole career was putting a great deal of stock in an older female mentor who had a horror story about virtually every single person in the publishing industry, almost none of which turned out to be true.

She did, however, goad me into not only shunning people, but quitting jobs on her say-so. This is not the only person I've ditched work for, and I'm an idiot, but whatever. 

Later, she turned right around and worked (or tried to) with the people she claimed were evil. 

I did myself serious and lasting professional harm listening to her. 

The last time she tried that trick was when she demanded I quit working on a job in the early 1990's because they would not hire her, too. Their not hiring her proved the company was bad, according to her.

I think it proved the company exercised sound judgment, because she continually blew one gig after another and made wild accusations against almost anyone who came near her, including me.

I told her this was one job I would not quit. 

If I had quit the job, it would have been, you know, awesome self sabotage, and it probably would have completely wrecked me professionally at a Major Client. But for the first time ever, I said no to her. And that felt pretty great.

She hasn't worked for that company since as far as I know. I do know she has skint credits elsewhere following this incident.

So while I will listen to people's grievances, I am not so quick to shun these days. I pick and choose and make my own decisions. And I reserve the right to change my mind about people later.

I'm not saying people don't have legit grievances with people or clients. I'm saying there are grievances and then there are those who would weaponize you to attack their petty grudge list, or to hobble you so they can advance over your prone body.

This is common enough that every pro I know has experienced it.

Where is the line between enabling bad behavior and recognizing that everyone everywhere is shades of grey, and knowing you won't find a flawless organization, and understanding there is no way to entirely limit your association with bad actors?

Hell if I know.

But I do know that every single person who has ever demanded I cut someone on their behalf has a history too. And they couldn't possibly live up to the standards they set for others.

I'm going to do what is right for me by my standards, and I sleep pretty well. Thanks.

People other people have demanded that I shun include Neil Gaiman, Gail Simone, Amanda Palmer, Frank Miller, John Cassaday, Mark Waid, George Perez, Joan Hilty, Bob Layton, my agent since 1989, and a host of others too long to list.

I wonder where I'd be today if I'd followed that advice. I know where it left me in the early 1990's: persona non grata almost everywhere.

To be honest, for awhile, I did distance myself from Neil, which ended in me feeling like absolute shit on realizing I'd been played. 

No, I won't go into detail.

Even now, decades later, once in awhile I still burble out an incoherent apology. The last time, I burbled it out through my tears. He never brings it up, but I bring it up, and every time I do I feel like shit, because I judged someone based on a bad actor's word.

If I could go back in time I'd fix it, but there's no fix. Just my feeling stupid and judge-y and used.

No, I will not shun other people on anyone else's say-so.

The end.

EDIT: To a certain person who likes to make things up and/or conflate like a champ, this post, originally published on my private FB page in 2017, has absolutely NOTHING to do with recent news about Gaiman.

Nice try, though.