Mind The Gap
For Dreamers and Tall Poppies
Many people consider art making selfish and trivial and you need to multiply that sentiment by 100 to apply it to comics making.
You are never going to have the approval of many people, including the approval of those who were close to you.
Years ago, I worked on a project with J Michael Straczynski entitled THE BOOK OF LOST SOULS. It's one of my all-time favorite books, in large part due to a segment in chapter 3 in which a young aspiring artist is given insight into "the voices of reason and resentment", the voices of those who did not pursue their dreams, those who drag you while you pursue yours.
When these voices come from loved ones, it is very hard to take.
If you manage to achieve a level of success, you will encounter those who will pull even farther away from you, not because of anything you did, but because of what you represent: the dreams they didn't pursue.
The argument will be, "You've changed."
That is true.
Perhaps you have changed for the worse.
But you may have changed for the better. And changing for the better is a harsh reminder to those who did not take the chances.
Did not take the risk.
Did not make the leap.
You will be there for all their graduations. For every award ceremony. For every illness.
They will have unspoken reasons not to be there for your events.
They will not read your books. They will not be at the gallery. They will not be at the ceremony...unless there is someone famous to meet.
Someone more important than you.
After all, it's just plain old you.
Just the same old goofy schlub who had to root through couch cushions for change years ago, and who would stay up until 5 AM to crank out joyless job after job to make the rent.
Just you.
No one will be interested in your accomplishments. No one will be interested in the awards. No one will be interested in your travels. No one will be interested in any achievement other than the acquisition of famous people they get to meet if they hang around you long enough.
Despite the fact that their art dreams rolled up and withered away, despite the fact that what they would have achieved would have been considered trivial too, they wanted those dreams very desperately once. And they didn't get them.
And that really hurts.
Seeing you and what you do with your dreams hurts.
So they have to minimize what you do.
Every time you level up, you will encounter resistance. Every time you level down, people who resented you for leveling up will not be there to catch you when you fall. But they'll sure enjoy seeing you swan dive.
So maybe, maybe it's a good time to just...fall. And hit the ground running.
There's no purpose, no purpose at all, in trying to recreate the social dynamic that formed a relationship that can no longer exist, because the old you no longer exists.
The old them no longer exists either.
The person they were is a person who did not do what they set out to do. And they can't forgive themselves for it.
And they can't forgive you for proving dreams can come true.
This is a Tall Poppy post for me and a bunch of other people, I bet.
Oh yes, I have seen this syndrome in action. Years ago, I worked in the art department of a t-shirt company. One of the other artists there was a talented and ambitious young man who wanted to make comics for a living. He finally took the leap, started his own publishing company, negotiated the rights to a well-known pop culture franchise, and the resulting comics were a big hit.
The remaining artists at the t-shirt mill absolutely seethed with jealousy. They mocked and denigrated his efforts, pointing out how they, of course, could do it better. At one point, several of them were even looking up old cartoons, trying to see which ones might have the rights available so they could steal his thunder. Nothing came of it, of course, because they didn't have one-tenth of his moxie.
This attitude has always baffled me. I was involved in the amateur comics/zine scene for many years, and got to meet many up-and-coming creators who have gone on to great success. I'm happy for them! They deserve it! And I get to be the insufferable hipster who goes around bragging, "Yeah, I knew Raina Telgemeier and Rachel Hartman back when they were schlepping their xeroxed minicomics around Artist Alley..." :D
Once upon a time, in the dim dark nineties and into the early 2000s, I was one of the only openly gay male comedians where I lived, and if I ever did gigs at gay events or spaces, I’d get a lot of “my friend is much funnier than you” and I’d tell the them “he probably is, but I’ve turned up so I’m doing this gig and I’m getting paid - tell your friend to start turning up, I’d love to have company amongst all these straight people.” Making the effort is the hardest part, it’s why mediocre people get work - they turned up, while talented people say at home in obscurity, waiting to be discovered.